So, I the book I am currently reading is “The Code of the Extraordinary Mind” by Vishen Lakhiani. Some extremely useful and useable tools and advice.
One of the techniques he describes is goal setting. This is a key part of coaching. Without clarity on what YOU WANT (not what you think you SHOULD want) and clear direction in your life, it can feel as though you are stuck or going round in circles.
Think of all aspects of your life – relationships/social ife, career, family, finances, physical and mental wellbeing, personal growth, spirituality, personal character. In relation to each of these areas, ask yourself 3 questions: It is a great idea to sit down with a big piece of paper and some pens, set a timer for 10 minutes and then begin writing down the goals you want to achieve in each life area...whatever what comes to mind. Don’t over-think, just trust your instincts.
- What experiences do you want? If time and money were no object and you didn’t need to ask anyone’s permission, what sort of experiences do you crave?
- How do you want to grow/develop? In order to have the experiences you crave; how do you have to grow? What sort of person do you need to evolve into?
- How do you want to contribute? If you have the experiences you want and have gown and evolved, then how can you give back to the world?
When you are thinking of these, a tip is to focus on your feelings – what will the goal make you feel – excited? Happy? Loved? Calm?
Your goals need to inspire and excite you. They need to be your goals – not goals that society tells you that you should pursue. Your goals also need to be independent of others. For example – “ a great relationship with my kids” is, in part, reliant on your kids. “being the best parent I can be” is totally within your control. Vishen describes 'end goals' and 'means goals'. Means goals are ones that lead you to something else - eg, getting a qualification in order to get a job you love (the end goal). The next step is to ensure your goals are more 'end goals' that means goals!
For each goal you have written down,put some thought into the following:
- When I achieve this goal I will be able to… (get a good job, stop working, wear a size-whatever jeans, relax and slow down, buy a bigger house, pay off my loans…..etc)
- When I achieve this, I will feel… (more secure, satisfied, happy, confident, fit & healthy, etc
- Now see if you can identify the underlying objectives of each goal you wrote down. (to be fitter, to be less stressed, to be financially secure, to make a difference, to have adventures, etc
So, once you have the objectives you may want to ask yourself:
Is the original goal the only way/best way to achieve the objective? Is the original goal enough to achieve your objective? Can you achieve your objective in a more efficient way?
You may find that some of your original goals are actually ‘means goals’ and there are in fact bigger ‘end goals’.
When you have your final list of goals, write them up and stick them on a wall! Be proud of them, focus on them! These are your roadmap.
Many more life hacks can be found in ‘The Code of the Extraordinary Mind’ – as well as in Vishen’s pod casts on Mindvalley.com.
If you prefer a sounding board and some support with goal setting then consider a coach!
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Posted: Wednesday 23 June 2021